Jump to content





Posted Image

PCS & Stuart M. Grant - Cichlid Preservation Fund - Details here


Photo

Little Ralphy Says.....


  • Please log in to reply
1 reply to this topic

#1 Westie

Westie

    West African Cichlid fan

  • Admin
  • Joined: 31-May 10
  • Location: Hammond Park

Posted 01 March 2017 - 02:03 PM

LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH


A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?'  
She calls on little Ralphy.

 


He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'

 


The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4,
but I like your thinking..'

 


Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.

 


There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

 


One is delicately licking the sides of the
triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

 


The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'

 


The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well,
I suppose the one that's gobbled
down the top and sucked the cone.'

 


To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is
'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'

 


LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH

 


Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

 


'Why?' asks the father?

 


'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.

 


'But that's right!' says his dad.

 


'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''

 


'What's the stuffing difference?' asks the father.

 


'That's what I said!'


 


LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH

 


Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says,
'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words,
class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

 


RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate..'

 


Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY,
that's a mouthful.'

 


Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers,
you're thinking of a blowjob.'


 


LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

 


One day, during lessons on proper grammar,
the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who
could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.

 


First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with,
'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress
and she looked beautiful in it.'

 


'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael.

 


'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet
and it turned out beautifully.'

 


She said, 'Excellent, Michael!'
Then the teacher reluctantly called on little RALPHY.

 


'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told
my father that she was pregnant,
and he said 'Beautiful, just stuffing beautiful!''

 


LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER

 


Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching
on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said,
'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you.
It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'

 


Little RALPHY replied,
'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'

 


The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat
6 candy bars at a time?'
Little RALPHY answered,
'No, but he minded his own stuffing business.'


 


I LOVE Little RALPHY!!!!!



#2 BengaBoy

BengaBoy
  • Forum Member
  • Joined: 17-July 02
  • Location: Perth W.A.

Posted 01 March 2017 - 04:06 PM

the trumpster on math

 

“I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, ‘What’s 2+2?’ And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We’ve had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can’t believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I’ll tell you.
First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It’s probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don’t tell you that, and I’ll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn’t believe it. That I can tell you. So, we’re gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright. Thank you.”






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users