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#1 dicky7

dicky7
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  • Joined: 25-October 13
  • Location:Perth
  • Location: Noranda

Posted 19 October 2015 - 01:15 PM

At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the IRS agent was checking the books, he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said,
“I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?”

“Good question ,” noted the CFO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.”

“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”

“Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the auditor was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they will send us a free bag of plaster.”

“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO.

“Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?”

“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete d*ck.”



#2 bigjohnnofish

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  • Location: Banjo Country aka just past Mundaring

Posted 20 October 2015 - 02:13 AM

 A  guy goes into the US postal service to apply for a  job.

 

The  interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to  anything?" 
 
 
He  replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee." 
 
 
"Ok,  Have you ever been in the military service?" “Yes,”  he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one   tour.   The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." 
 
Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?" 
 

The  guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my  testicles." 
 

The  interviewer grimaces and then says, "Disabled in your country's service!  Well that qualifies for extra bonus points.Okay. 
 
Looking at the regulations you have got enough points for me to hire you  right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM. You can start  tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every  day." 
 
 
The  guy is puzzled and asks, 
 
 
"If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM,  why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"     
 
 
"This  is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we  just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our nuts.. 
 
 
No point in  you coming in for that." 



#3 dicky7

dicky7
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  • Joined: 25-October 13
  • Location:Perth
  • Location: Noranda

Posted 20 October 2015 - 09:04 AM

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