A man named Richard joins a very exclusive nudist colony....
On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around.
A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and Mel Richard immediately gets an erection.
The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me? Mel Richard replies, 'No, what do you mean?
She says, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.
Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
Mel Richard continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and, as he sits down, he farts..... loudly
Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward him, 'Did you call for me?' says the hairy man.
'No, what do you mean?' says the newcomer.
'You must be new,' says the hairy man, 'it's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.
Mel Richard staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she says.
The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.
'But, Sir,' she replies, 'you've only been here for a few hours.
You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities.
Mel Richard replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 71 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 35 times a day!!
Edited by Jason82, 04 December 2015 - 08:57 AM.
Richard has a split personality, so is sometimes referred to as Mel..... true story
fluffed it 
