dicky7

You will have to be dam fast to get any tho

doubt it mate 

Check around and close to all your sensors for cobwebs and other nests that is usually 99% of false alarms ohhh... did you have an open wallet around ?? if so moths do it as well

Not a problem mate I would be willing to take you up on that offer as long as you supply the house and all the essentials

let me now when it is finished

Stop complaining  ya bunch of woowsers nothing like a nice cold and wet winter ... enjoy it while we have it

can always put more clothes on  when cold , but when hot when ya get to skin ya cant go any further

have anyone  else seen this ??

http://www.detroitne...turns/87697534/

Couple months away for my Gold Occy's

Nearly had sex with a ladyboy last night.
Picked him up in a night club. He Looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman.
Danced like a woman.
Even kissed like a woman, but, as we arrived back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement!
That's when I thought - Hang on just a minute!
________________________________
 
I  saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm, bless him.
I shouted - "Where you off to Charlie?"
He said, "I'm off to change a light bulb."
Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing, then said,  "That's gonna be a bit awkward, innit?"
"Not really." he said. "I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard."

________________________________
Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration  officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?
"No, just  here for a few days."

________________________________
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.
Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.
So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.

________________________________
I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a man sneaking through next door's garden.
Suddenly my neighbor came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.
He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.
Astonished, I got back into bed.
My wife said  "Darling, you're shaking, what is it?"
"You'll never believe what I've just seen!" I said, "That tosser next door has still got my bloody shovel."     

yes mate it is

heard a conversation about a pet shop in Mandurah  selling some bullrout  Pet Stop  or something named like that  .... not confirmed just passing it on if any interested

Aveley

Thankyou Kathy .. extremely interesting reading

Much appreciated

Cheers

my pet peeve is looking through adds for sale when they describe a tank as  1.2m x 2ft x2ft

one or the other for goodness sake

Congratulations to you and the wife hope it is smooth for you

Cheers Rich

PS: don't let the wife see this post even jokingly calling her fat in a public forum is a good way not to have any more babies

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream,

“Where did you get that car?”

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” demanded his parents.

“We know what a Porsche costs..”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

So the parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?” they asked.

“It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. Don’t know her name-they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”

“Oh my Goodness!,” moaned the mother, “she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”

So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

“Well,” she said, “this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn’t intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did.”

Well done to the winners good job all keep those awesome shots coming please